"Hey Bob.""Hey Carl. How's the plumbing business--still crappy?"
"Hilarious as always, Bob. Same ol', same ol'. What's new in your world?"
Bob extended his hand, pretending to idly examine it. "Oh, nothing much."
Carl's jaw dropped. "Oh. My. God, Bob! Sally proposed? Oh, I'm so happy for you! And your ring--it's beautiful!"
"Thanks. I like the marquise cut, but, I don't know--I've always been partial to the princess, you know?"
"I hear you. When Jane gave me mine I thought, "Wow: Cheap-o alert! But, I know she loves me. Anyways, congratulations, really."
"Thanks, Carl. Take care."
--later--
"And you should have seen that tacky crackerjack ring she got him, Dirk. Oh, it was just awful."
"I wouldn't worry about it. Bob's such a slut...I don't give them two years."
"Boyfriend, you ain't kiddin'."
2 comments:
Very good. On the subject of male/female differences in relationships, I remember absolutely astounding Martin when I revealed to him just how much women read into fairly arbitrary gestures and choices. Take a simple first date to the cinema, for example.
What he does: Chooses a 'man-film' to watch.
What she thinks: "He's so selfish. He's never going to consider my feelings at all."
What he does: Chooses a girly film to watch.
What she thinks: "He's either gay, or he's trying way too hard to impress me. Where's his backbone?"
What he does: Buys one large Coke to share.
What she thinks: "Cheap bastard. And come on, it's our first date and we're sharing saliva already? What kind of a girl does he think I am?"
What he does: Buys two smaller Cokes, one each.
What she thinks: "Oh, so I have cooties or something, do I? He obviously has sharing issues. Probably an only child."
What he does: Chooses a seat in the back row.
What she thinks: "Now THAT'S presumptious. You think I'm going to make out with you in the back row like a teenager?"
What he does: Chooses a seat NOT in the back row.
What she thinks: "Now THERE'S a way to tell a girl she's not getting any action during this film. Maybe he's secretly gay, and I'm just a cover."
You will never win when it comes to the fairer sex. Deal.
That's why I don't contend with them. Besides: it's unsporting to expect reason from the unreasonable.
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