Wednesday, September 24, 2008
A Treatise on Public Negotiations
There's a very disturbing trend in America that I've yet to see one word of in the media. The owners and consiglieres of public restrooms are installing toilet seats with impressions of butt-cheeks molded into them. I don't have enough hope to hope that this is an answer to a question never asked. Who needs this? The sort of person who cannot regularly and accurately negotiate a commode without a visual and tactile cue of where his rump should go is either: cursed by the gods, or a child. Neither should be loosed in public, and certainly not in a public sanitary facility.
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3 comments:
Not only is that idiotic, but it's distasteful too. The use of any public toilet requires the same suspension of rational thought and squeamishness necessary for eating in Chinese restaurants: one must close one's mind to the thought that a hundred other rears have touched the seat too. What a hideous idea to remove this merry self-delusion!
Worse, I think, are French toilets, also known as 'a hole in the ground with two raised platforms to stand on'; found in dirty little huts in every French service station and rest area. Now that is an error committed in the name of equality - seriously, we women really don't mind not being allowed to pee standing up. Really.
Sometimes I envy those who get to travel a great deal and see more of the world than I ever will.
And sometimes I don't.
This is like the braille on the drive-up bank teller. I'm trying to imagine what was on the minds of those who paid for it.
Do they have handlebars so you can hang on as you loom over the hole? Now I'm wondering if this is some artifact from the past. After all, you can't imagine a Frenchman would be fond of another water loo.
No doubt that's a law (Yay, government!), and I'm sure the banks are happy to oblige. Even with the increase of people literally drive-through banking, their overdraft profits from among the blind have risen 68% because they don't have braille screens.
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